THE KING'S ENGLISH

 I must say, just because we Americans have a basic language in common with the British doesn't make us able to comprehend what one or the other is saying or what signs mean.

After I had been in England for about a month I realized the communication problem was much like what my Brazilian friend said. "She been over here for years and she still don't spik so good de English"

I asked about a train to a village called Claygate and the guard told me to take the one "viyahCobham". I thought that was yet another town I had to go through. When I got off the train I saw a sign that said "WAY OUT".  At first I thought it was some leftover hippie description of the place but soon discovered it was the exit.

If they want to tell you about a great "scheme", which to us Yanks sounds like some nefarious plan, it's not that, it's just a plan they think is great. If you order streaky bacon, it's like ours with fat running through it. Just bacon is like what we call Canadian bacon. If you ask for a glass of water, you must decide if it is to be still or not. Never thought I'd have to tell my water to be still. " Not" is sparkling.

I also learned that they laugh at us because we wear "fanny packs"." Fanny" is not an acceptable word in England nor is it in New Zealand. I know because my cousin married a New Zealander many years ago and she was ostracized by her neighbors when she said she fell and hurt her fanny. It seems that is a very personal part of the female anatomy to them. 

Most of us have heard of fish and chips, yes? Well, I ordered some and was served a huge piece of fried fish surrounded by French fries, which you all probably know, are called "crisps",  with little individual jars of  mayo and ketchup. It was very good but the fish was a bit tough. My daughter and I had brunch at a charming little place in downtown Esher (pronounced EESHA) where I ordered a full English breakfast. "Full" is an understatement! Two range free scrambled eggs, large link of delicious sausage, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of toast and a baked tomato! I rolled out of there to try to walk it off. 

Other little things are so different. Their yards are "gardens", and a sweater is a "jumper". They never say "restroom" if they need the facilities; it's just "TOILET", loud and clear. Another difference is their deer are a dark rusty color and larger than ours, the foxes are about as tall as a coyote and as usual in the animal kingdom, the male pheasant is much prettier than the female. The female looks like an overgrown road runner. 

I hope you are not getting tired of these accounts of my trips to the British Isles because there are more coming soon. Tah for now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THREE SQUARES

All this to-do about toilet paper has brought to mind various experiences pertaining to that life essential. Right now I am sitting two rooms away from an open package of lavender scented toilet paper, the only kind my son could find, with a scent that is so strong I will not have to spray for as long as this stuff lasts. Anyone who thinks they can cause the smell of our body function to disappear is operating under a delusion. Ain't nothin' that really covers it up. Back to the subject at hand; the first thought that came to my mind in the midst of the tp frenzy was my husband telling me one thing they instructed him to do when he was in the Air Force. He was told that they could use only three squares of toilet paper per visit. Evidently there was someone outside the stall handing it out. Which memory then connects to our drive up the autobahn through Germany many years ago. They have handy rest stops on the way and we pulled in to one to use the facilities. Right outside th...
Read more

HALLOWED EVE?

Well here it is, almost Halloween 2020, one that will be completely different from any others thanks to the current pandemic. I don't know anything about Halloween in other countries but here in the U.S. it's been a big deal. I would like to share with you some of my past adventures which happened on the "Hallowed Eve".  When I was very young I belonged to the Girl Scouts and in those days we didn't have to go around peddling candy. We did all sorts of interesting and constructive things and even had campouts. On one overnight campout outside of town, I remember sitting around the campfire listening to Rocky Reagan tell ghost stories. He was a real rancher and a master story teller. I think that was on a Halloween but even if it wasn't it would have been appropriate for that time. They were wonderful tales. Look him up. He wrote some interesting books about Texas and ranching. The first Halloween experience I remember occurred when I was in junior high. A bunc...
Read more

TO BE AN ONLY CHILD

 I think I told my readers, if there are any, that I am an only child. Little did I realize growing up that that would allow me to have a few interesting adventures as an adult. Today I have decided to share some of those with you and I hope I am not repeating any stories. I will try to keep them in chronological order but that may be impossible for me. I start by reminding you of my flight from New Orleans to Athens, Greece. That's a tale you may find in my blog of June 30, 2019, so I won't retell it now. After that I flew to Washington D.C., which I wrote about on May 18, 2019. These are trips that I made alone and somehow managed to come away unharmed.  Then there was the trip to Mexico City before things like email and all the other rapid communication stuff existed. I took some papers containing our shipping company business to the capital for a fellow to sign because at that time there was no way to have that done electronically. Of course when I arrived in Mexico City I...
Read more